the call on the redeemed.

I seem to have these odd, late-night inspirations. They always come at the wrong time, and bother me. Like right now. I’m in the middle of doing homework. I’ve got some fifteen odd pages to finish in Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice for English and some statistics homework problems. But feeling a prompting to just sit and write, I’ve agreed to set those assignments aside for the present, and try and hash out this post.

One misfortune has come to mind as I write this, however, and that is that I’m breaking my pattern of posting on Tuesdays. For a while there, I thought posting on Tuesdays was pretty sweet and even considered changing the name of this blog to the “Tuesday Post.” But obviously I didn’t go through with that.

I guess I’ll proceed to the real point of what I'm writing, though I’m still not clear of the direction this is taking…

Last week, I read the best book I have ever read: Redeeming Love. It’s written by Francine Rivers who has translated the story of the prophet Hosea into the period of the California Gold Rush. (Oddly, I have been encouraged to read this book over the past several years, and it hasn’t been until now that I finally took their advice. I guess it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time.) A man named Michael Hosea, a devout follower of God, is compelled by the urging of the Holy Spirit to marry a prostitute, Angel. Despite her initial hesitance and conviction that he is crazy, he convinces her to marry him and begins a life with her. I don’t want to give away the story—though if you’re familiar with the story of Hosea, you can probably figure out what happens—but I do want to at least express the reason why I refer to this novel with the highest regard. (Currently, I’m reading Pride & Prejudice, as I said above, and I the style of writing in the books I read always influences my own writing style, which is why I’m sound slightly odd and old-fashioned here.)

I’ll admit: I’m a hopeless romantic. Nicholas Sparks is brilliant, Jane Austen is sensational, and country music is appealing because of the fairytale endings. But no romance captivated me so much as the one described in this book. Michael’s love for Angel is unwavering, even after she leaves him without excuse time and again. Initially, I found myself wondering where is my Michael? When will I find him? Will I even find him?

But as the book progressed, I came to realize that Rivers didn’t intend for her readers to fall in love with Michael; she hoped they would fall in love with the Almighty. Slowly, as Angel’s own personal barriers begin to collapse, she opens her heart up to love. She finally recognizes and accepts the true power of the Messiah, and her life is redeemed because of it. And as she experienced this change, I felt as if I was right there with her, falling in love with my Savior once again: realizing his power, his sacrifice, his unfailing love. As I thought about it, Michael wasn’t just a man. He functioned as a reflection of Christ: his relationship with Angel is like God’s relationship with us. No matter how messed up we are, no matter how many times we’ve failed him, he’ll always love us. He’ll come running after us. He’ll keep searching until he finds us, the one lost sheep, his prized possession.

I finished this incredible book in the backseat of a six-hour drive home from Mammoth. And embarrassingly, I found myself crying at the novel’s close. (Fortunately, no one saw—though they might as well seeing as I’m admitting it now.) I could feel God’s presence and could feel that he loved me. Amidst the turmoil of life, he would always be there. To avoid the possible discovery of my flooding emotions, I looked out the window and saw the desert. It was so majestic and so beautiful. If you know me, I’m not one to get too excited about deserts. I usually find them somewhat repulsive, but I was persuaded otherwise in these few moments. I wish I had taken a picture, but even then, I don’t think that would do the scene proper justice. The plateaus and sandy hills were striped in varying shades of orange. And the sky was so blue and so vast. It was simply gorgeous. But no wonder? It’s God’s creation after all! And as I’m writing this right now, I’m drawing my own little parallel to life from the scene that was before me: when we are in our own personal desert, God’s glory is still evident. He is still there. There is "beauty in the broken" (as the worship band Starfield says).

To add to this perfect moment, the most appropriate Hillsong songs shuffled into my headphones (thanks, iPod): “Inside Out”, “Stronger”, and “At the Cross.” It was as if God was confirming the feelings I was having and enveloping me in his love. He somehow knew the feelings in my heart and told my iPod to play those songs: “I want to love you from the inside out”, “You are stronger, you are stronger/Sin is broken, You have saved me/It is written: Christ is risen/Jesus you are Lord of all”, “At the cross I bow my knee/where your blood was shed for me/there’s no greater love than this/you have overcome the grave/glory fills the highest place/what can separate me now?/you tore the veil/you made a way/when you said that it is done.” Incredible words, right?

I wanted to capture and remember the moment, so I took out my handy journal and scribbled (it’s tough writing in the car) down my thoughts. Here’s part of what I wrote: “At the end, I realized what God was showing me in this book: he wanted me to see him, be humbled by his love, want to be close to him, want to mirror his love.” I think this is true for all of us. God desires us to be his, just as Michael desired that Angel finally, truly, deeply return his love for her.

It’s too easy to forget God. We push him to the last bullet point on our to-do lists. We fall asleep during our quiet times. We would rather hang out with friends than spend an hour of silence with him. But if we can’t live without God, if he’s our source, shouldn’t he have greater priority?

In a video (http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Jason_Castro), Jason Castro (American Idol contestant from last year. Rocked the dredlocks and was perceived by some of the harsher critics as a druggie/stoner. For all you among that group, know this: he’s walking the walk.) brilliantly stated, “Servant of all. That’s what Jesus came to be, and I think that’s what we’re all called to be. To give our life for God, to give our life for those around us, to give our life for the good fight.”

I guess this concept somewhat overlaps with an earlier post of mine, but maybe its God’s way of hitting home this idea: if we’re really his, we ought to act as he would. If we’re really his, let’s live as Jesus did. If we’re really his, we should not love only those who love us for “even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are only kind to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 4:46-48).

Wait, what? Did Jesus really just say that? Yeah, he did. Heavy stuff, right? So why don’t we listen to it? Because it’s too hard? Because it's too weird? For heaven's sake, what would other people think (God forbid we're shunned for his sake! Oh wait, "who ever loses his life for my sake will find it.")

What would Christianity look like if we all lived like this? How would our world be different if we loved the people who persecuted us? If we loved our enemies?

I told you I had no idea where this post was going, and somehow I ended up here: challenging myself and those of you who are taking time to read this to live lives “worthy of the calling we have received.” Let's be followers of Christ. Let's "love the Lord our God, and love one another. Love one another as he loves. Love with strength, and purpose and passion no matter what comes against you. Don't weaken. Stand in the darkness, and love. That's the way back to Eden. That's the way back to life" (closing lines of Redeeming Love).

Christmas.

This last week, Mr. Hough commented on the pattern my posts seem to follow: I post on Tuesdays. So to be true to form I guess, here I am, yet again, posting on a Tuesday.

It’s December 23, 2008.

The most anticipated holiday is upon us.

It is a holiday of celebration. It commemorates the birth of the Savior of the Universe, the true Messiah.

It is a holiday of hope. It symbolizes God’s infinite love for his people: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” (John 3:16).

It is a holiday of community. It brings families and friends together to exchange gifts and enjoy one another’s company.

At the same time, it has become a holiday of consumption. A season of greed and indulgence advances on our society the moment Thanksgiving turkeys are tossed in the trash and the last slice of pumpkin pie is consumed.

This year, I think we’ve all heard the groans of a society stricken with pain and sadness from this same holiday: several people were trampled by over-eager shoppers in a New Jersey Wal-Mart, and one individual was shot and killed in a Toys-R-Us this last November.

What has happened to our world that this joyous holiday is now a monster? Under the guise of the “spirit of giving” we justify our right to consume and receive.

And worst of all, our gifts are all too often trivial attempts to just purchase something. They don’t represent something larger, something eternal. They are just items to be used and discarded.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it well:

Look up you whose eyes are fixed on this earth, you who are captivated by the events and changes on the surface of this earth… “Look up, your redemption is drawing near.” Something different than you see daily, something more important, something infinitely greater and more powerful is taking place. Become aware of it, be on guard, wait a short while longer, wait and something new will overtake you! God will come, Jesus will take possession of you and you will be redeemed people.

With such hope and glory and eternal blessing at our fingertips, why don’t we look up? Why are we focused on the temporary that’s here and now? Why don’t we give with eternal purpose or reward in mind? Instead of purchasing that scarf for a friend living in sunny Southern California, why not purchase a cow through World Vision for an impoverished village in her name?

If the only way to find our life is to lose it, why aren’t we living differently? Why do we continue to seek meaning in worldly things?

May you live with purpose and acknowledge the heavenly hope in and awesome glory of our Father this Christmas.

My Dear Generation...

Here's an essay that I'm submitting to one of the colleges I'm applying to. I found it rather appropriate to post on my blog that is full of my opinions on life as a Christian in this crazy world:

As an individual growing up in a highly commercialized, highly globalized, and highly consumer-ridden nation, I have found that much pressure for success and personal gain is placed on young people. Older generations have seen and experienced the devastation and missed opportunities that result from inaction and wasted time, and in turn, they emphasize to my generation the necessity to strive for achievement, to reach for the ideal, and to seek victory. While this behavior has the potential to produce very accomplished individuals, I fear that, more often, it will generate a population of over-achieving, over-worked, attention-seeking characters.

I myself would be one to identify with these over-achievers. My pursuit thus far in the realm of academia, and life in general, has been consumed with a focus on being the best. I, like the rest of this country, recognize that hard work alongside commitment will eventually get me someplace. In recent months, however, I have realized that this essentially endless yearning will never create a sense of satisfaction in my life. I will constantly be seeking for more, for bigger, for better. I will always have a desire to succeed once more, to be honored once more, to be the best once more. This incessant pining will bring me the neither rest I need nor the opportunity to reflect on my achievements nor, arguably, true success.

So the challenge that results is gruesomely countercultural: to pause, to stop yearning, to live for something higher, and to allow oneself to experience life as it was intended—before light bulbs, automobiles, cell phones, computers, or the Internet. Perhaps it is not necessary for humans to obsess over advancement—after all, a significant percentage of the world’s population lives on less than a single dollar per day. Perhaps, greater initiative should be taken on behalf of the oppressed, the malnourished, the suffering, the victimized. Perhaps, the abandonment of advancement and a diverted focus oriented towards helping one another in a real, hands-on fashion could indeed change the world. Perhaps, wealth and achievement are not the only ends to strive for. Perhaps, true success is simply a life lived on behalf of others.

The injustice that has plagued societies for centuries continues, and thus far, the enacted remedies have failed to eradicate crises like AIDs, starvation, slavery, and poverty. With popular slogans of change permeating our society, maybe it is time to reconsider the ways in which we approach and address international issues. Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said, “We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, but we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.” So maybe the answer to the plight of millions across our globe is different from our current solutions; maybe we ought to teach people how to fish and give them one too.

I believe it is time for this globalized generation of mine to rise up and be real leaders; to discard expectations that we must reach fulfillment through our own success; to live with purpose; to strive for harmony and justice rather than personal gain. With this mindset, I have chosen to direct my own leadership commitments and academic achievements in such a way that will bring me comprehensive experience and vision for a career of “world changing.” While instructed by law to remain in school, I plan to succeed in the present to prepare for myself to be a lawyer in a third world country in the future. In such a role, I intend to expend myself on behalf of others and use my foundation in fair justice to seek out and present cases of oppression and corruption to governments, in hopes that they too will join me in promoting integrity and prosecuting dishonesty, discrimination, and fraud. If this world is going to change, we need individuals to set aside their own agendas, advocate fairness, and brave new avenues for delivering hope and transformation to a hurting world.

*The end portion on my "intended role" gets a little preachy and boastful. But it's a college essay. So if it annoys you, just ignore that part.

what ever happened to prophecies?

the other day, i was reading in isaiah 40. to be honest, i've really come to enjoy reading the prophets. i think it's largely because i find their warnings relevant to our society today, but that's another issue in itself, i guess.

anyway, as i was reading my brain took me on a little side-track and got me thinking about spiritual gifts. we've been talking a lot about spiritual gifts in my pastoral theology class at school: we've discussed their importance, how they're revealed, how they can be implemented, etc. but i felt like we could've delved more into the topic - i, for one, would have found discussing it further quite riveting. regardless, they were brought to the forefront of my mind while i was reading this passage of scripture.

as i was reading, what i began to wonder was the reason why the "crazy" spiritual gifts seem to have "disappeared" from mainstream christianity. like seriously, where did they go? 1 corinthians 12:8-10 names all these different gifts that the spirit gives: wisdom, knowledge, healing, miraculous powers, prophecy, speaking in tongues, etc. paul seems to imply that such gifts are normal, not unusual, but typical of believers back then. and yet, here i am, having grown up in the church my whole life having never truly witnessed a miracle nor heard a prophecy nor witnessed someone speaking in tongues, and so on.

this makes me sad. i wonder if people suppress these gifts in shame? or has god possibly "repealed" them knowing we won't use them properly? or are people using them but not being heard because others suppress them?

if we take a look at our society, things seem to be progressing in a downward spiral: christmas has become all about consumerism, thanksgiving is reduced to a day of indulgence, and capitalism pushes us to justify exploitation overseas. and i wonder if these gifts were being exercised in a more public, less secret fashion, would our society be different? if people were receiving and sharing prophecies from god, would our society accept it and heed the warning? could we be brought closer to god? maybe the power of these gifts could revive and restore christianity?

i hate not having answers and being uncertain and confused and leaving you uncertain and confused, but this is all i have for now: questions.

liberty and justice for all?

so i just finished this book called SOLD by patricia mccormick. and besides les miserables, i have to admit it's the only book i'll ever thank a teacher for making me read. (for those of you who haven't read les mis, please do before you die.) i guess i was prone to liking it before i started reading it, but that's besides the point. basically, it's a group of vignette-like writings (similar to house on mango street) that detail the life of a young nepali girl named lakshmi who at the age of 12 or 13 is sold by her stepfather into sexual slavery.

tears came to my eyes as i felt the confusion she must have been experiencing. this poor young girl had not even the slightest notion of what she was getting into - up until this point, the least of her worries had been her cucumber garden. and now here she is being lugged across india, crossing borders illegally, and is finally landed in a brothel. in the beginning you can almost hear her innocence and naivete screaming out. but by the end, you start to get a sense of the effects this abuse has on her. you begin to understand her pain and why she and the other girls have become numb to their work. at one point, she admits to simply bearing it and wholeheartedly trusting in the (false) hope that one day, she will pay off the debt she owes. it's horrific.

what's crazy is that stopping human trafficking is my passion. it's what i feel god is showing me i'm here on this earth for. so i've read several books about this issue. i'm even in the process of researching sex slavery for my "senior project". but i have to admit, that nothing has hit me so hard as this. people always say that meeting these girls face-to-face brings the statistics to life. but here i am - having never even left the continent of north america nor experienced or witnessed true human suffering - completely humbled after reading this novel, which for all purposes is fictional (though it's based on factual evidence and real experiences that girls across the world continue to undergo).

i'm in shock. i'm in disbelief.

it boggles my mind that human beings can be so sick and so cruel.

it makes me want to stop it even more.

it makes me wonder why more people aren't as enraged about this as i am. all throughout my involvement with this in the last year, people have essentially asked me: to what extent does slavery exist in the world? teenagers and adults alike seem to doubt the presence of this basic violation of human rights. and now, all i want to do is buy copies of this book for all of those doubters. i wish so badly that they will come to see that this thing is real: people are suffering. people are being held against their will. literally. it's not made up. it's not a joke.

so i guess my hope is that more people will be thankful for the freedom we have. and maybe, just maybe, a few might go as far as actually using that freedom to bring freedom, to rescue, to deliver, to restore hope.

whatever happened to "liberty and justice for all"?