Fly.

Figured I should probably post the song as well...just to make things easier on you. (See previous post to get the context/background story on this song. Listen for the angel!)

God is awesome.

Incredible song. Incredible testimony to the greatness and power of God.

Watch this, then listen to the song.

It'll rock you.

four.

Dear friends,

This email has been a long time coming. I've put it off for a while because, honestly, I don't quite know what to say. I've been back from Africa for almost two weeks now, and I'm still processing through and trying to figure out the purpose for which God sent me on this trip.

First, however, I'll start by telling you about the last few days of our trip. The team spent our last four days on the continent of Africa in Nairobi, Kenya. We stayed at a convent, where some lovely nuns run a retreat center. It was a wonderful place to relax, unwind, and reflect before we all returned to our lives rather busy and hectic lives back home in the States. While we were in Nairobi, however, we also spent some mornings and afternoons working at the Missionaries of Charity - an order of charity homes started by Mother Teresa years ago.

This place really, really impacted me last year. It's a beautiful ministry, and a little slice of heaven in the middle of a rather hell-ish slum. While I loved being back there, it was still really hard for me. This year, we had the opportunity to serve in the disabled childrens' ward, which was heart-wrenching and hopeful, all at the same time. I get so excited just thinking about how awesome it is that these precious children, who were once abandoned, and who are now finally being taken care of and finally being loved. But then I sort of cringe at the fact that so many of them are still in pain and silently suffering. I've never really worked with disabled children, so doing it for the first time was very difficult. The inability to communicate with many of them was one of the hardest parts. It's hard to want to take care of someone but have no idea what they want!

The hardest moment of all for me, however, was dressing the children after their daily baths. During the afternoons, the women bathe the children and set them on a dressing table to be dried and dressed. It's like a loving little assembly line. What immediately struck me when I headed over there was how contorted so many of the children's bodies were. When they're clothed, you can't exactly see what's wrong with them. But when they're not, their twisted legs, hunched backs, and stiff arms are clearly visible. I had to make myself useful though, so I walked up to the table and attempted to work at the pretty stressful job of dressing these sweet children with stiff arms and legs. I was so afraid of stretching an arm too far and hurting them, but one worker kept telling me, "Don't be afraid," and proceeded to pass me more children to dress. So there I was, drying and dressing disabled children after their daily baths, wanting to break down in tears, but feeling pressured to work as fast as I could to move on to the next shivering child. Honestly, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. After one afternoon of doing that, I was completely exhausted - physically and emotionally. But what's crazy is that the women who work there do all that and more, every single day.

That was another thing I was struck by: the women who work there. Both female employees and nuns run the ministry. Last year, I left Nairobi completely in awe of the sisters who work there: they have given up their entire lives to love on people who have been abandoned by their families. But this year, I interacted more with the women who are simply employees there. They're truly unbelievable! Everyday, from the hours of 6:30 AM to 5:00 PM they love, bathe, clean, feed, and play with these children, only to return home and care for their OWN families. And then, they come back and do it all over again the following day. What huge hearts they have! I worked less than a day and a half and was completely exhausted. I don't know how they manage to do this everyday, with families of their own at home to care for as well!

Ultimately, I left the Missionaries of Charity in such perplexity. I was so encouraged by the purpose of the home: to love people who (far too often) go unloved in this world. But I was so heartbroken for the children: why did God create such beautiful children who have to suffer so much? I think it's something I'll never understand...

As for the trip in general, I'm still unsure of what God was trying to teach me. I went in with my own expectations and left with most of those unmet. In their place, I found myself unexpectedly processing and thinking about the overall purpose of missions, the effectiveness of short-term missions, and where my calling fits into all that. So many times, I buy into this perception of missions that says, "I'm going to another country. I'm going to help the people there. And I'm going to change them." But what I've learned is that it doesn't always happen that way, and, even more, perhaps it shouldn't happen that way. On this trip in particular, I often found myself feeling like the team wasn't "doing" enough or that things we were doing didn't have much meaning or purpose. And I got really frustrated.

But as I talked to Byron Borden, the missionary with whose ministry Maranatha High School has partnered, my frustration was eased. He, though frustrated with some of these very same things, still thinks it's worth it. He and I discussed (and concluded) that though we may feel as if we're not "doing" much, coming out is still worth it because we are being changed, and our callings and worldviews are being shaped. Though what we see may not be what we expected, it is still good and still able to be used by God. One thing that I liked most about what he said was that perhaps this perception of "going and doing" needs to be shifted. Perhaps short-term missions should be re-named or somehow re-cast to something more along the lines of "going and seeing".

Ultimately, I'm reminded that it's never me who does the work, but my God who is so powerful and incomprehensible. And it's there that I'm choosing to rest, while being thankful that despite my many inadequacies, he is choosing to let me be a part of furthering his kingdom!

Thank you all so much for your prayerful support. What a blessing the body of Christ is! I'm continually finding myself in awe of the places God is taking and the things he's doing in my life. So thank you for being a part of this journey, which is turning out to be quite wild!

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26

three.

Jambo!

We have made it back to Arusha safely from our week-long safari in the
Bush! What a week it was! My experience there this time around was
quite different from before. When we visited last year, the valley was
in a horrible drought. Most, if not all, of the men were miles away in
search of land for their cattle to graze. The land was just devastated
because there was so little water. I remember praying while we were
out there that God would heal the land and restore the life and hope
of the people living there. And sure enough, those prayers were
answered! As we drove into the valley, I could literally see the
difference! My heart leaped when I saw green field after green field
full of growing corn. Not only that, but we actually saw cows (healthy
ones at that) and men around the village! Although they lost about 90%
of their cattle, things are looking up this year! (The picture above shows

the improvement.)

Here are a few of the highlights I had this past week:

1. Filling in the gaping holes in the floor of the village schoolhouse
with cement. (I never knew how difficult mixing cement was!) Learning
how to do that was a rather difficult task, but the results were so
worth it!

2. Revisiting the valley and seeing such wonderful change in the land.

3. Roasting a goat. Believe it or not, I stood and watched the entire
process. Our Maasai friend and goat roasting extraordinaire Isaiah
brought a goat to our camp on Friday night, and we all stood by and
watched as he and his sons killed, skinned, cut up, and roasted the
goat. In terms of a cultural experience, it was a good one! It was
pretty funny watching Isaiah and his sons' reactions to our screaming
and squirming. It really highlighted the disparity and differences
between our cultures: we have no idea how to skin and roast a goat,
and many of them have no idea how to open a car door. In terms of
cuisine, however, goat is not my meat of choice. I did try it, but I
happened to get sick later that night (not from the goat, probably
just from dehydration) and unfortunately, I will forever associate
goat meat with feeling ill. (Although, I suppose that's not too
unfortunate a aituation as it's a much better deal for the goats!)

4. Interacting with the Maasai. Due to the fact that we were camping
out there for a longer period of time, we had the ability to interact
with more of the people fom the village. The guy I mentioned before,
Isaiah, was a huge hit among our group! He didn't speak a lick of
English but absolutely loved sitting with us and at least attempting
to communicate. He had a great sense of humor and loved taking "gifts"
from our group. Pretty sure he got a pair of sunglasses and some
family pictures out of us by the time we left. Despite that, I have
him to thank for my spiffy Maasai walking stick and for teaching me
how to count from 1-10 in Maasai! Oh, what a character! There's so
much more to say about him that is simply too difficult to relay in an
email. Ask me about him sometime!

5. Talking with Pastor James Kukan. Pastor James is actually the
contact Wild Hope has with that village, and his vision for that
valley and the Maasai people as a whole are the reason Wild Hope takes
teams out there! He was one of my highlights from my trip last year,
so I was really looking forward to seeing him again. He has such a
huge heart for his people - not just in his village, but in Maasai
land in general! I love listening to him share his heart because it
reminds me that God is already at work in the remotest places of the
world! Sometimes I catch myself thinking that we as Western Christians
have all the answers and all the solutions. But when I meet people
like Pastor James I'm reminded that we aren't the solution, and we
don't have all the answers. God is raising up people, natives of their
own countries, to lead and have incredibly powerful ministries! I just
love that we're able to come alongside Pastor James to encourage and
support his extensive and blossoming ministry!

I'm really excited about what God is doing in the hearts of our team
members - our prayers for unity are being answered! Pray for strength
an endurance in these next few days. The final leg of our trip
(working at the Missionaries of Charity home started by Mother Teresa)
is both exciting and hard, especially emotionally. Plus, we're all
still pretty tired from our safari. Also pray for continued health.
We've stayed pretty healthy on the whole, but have had a few upset
stomachs, which are less than desirable.

Thanks so much for your support and prayers!

two.

Dear friends,

Our time here in Arusha is coming to a close. On Monday, we leave to
head out to the more rural area of Tanzania known as the Bush. We'll
be camping in a Maasai village for about a week and have the chance to
interact with the Maasai children and learn from them about their
daily life and their culture's traditions.

While I am very excited to move on to the next aspect of our trip, I
am really sad to be leaving the Nyota soccer club. The kids and the
leaders of this program are just the coolest! At lunch yesterday, I
had the chance to listen to one of Nyota's founders named Agu talk
about the mission behind Nyota. Oh man, his heart is as big as the sky
here! Though he was brought up and still lives in the very poor
neighborhood of Unga, he has a deep desire to see young boys' lives
transformed. It was so special to be able to listen to him talk about
the ways that he disciples these kids and has even been leading some
to the Lord -- not to mention how well he cares for them, even while
he himself doesn't have much. After he shared with us, I asked him how
we could pray for him, and in true Agu style he asked for us to pray
for his family but only after we pray for the Nyota kids.

One of my other highlights thus far has been the visit to the African
church we took today! I didn't really know what to expect, and I still
don't really know how to describe it! All I can say is that Africans
really know how to do church! They just dance and groove the whole
time in worship -- it's fun to watch and absolutely beautiful to
listen to! Their singing was simply angelic as the sound of everyone's
voices floated high up to the peaked ceilings. Oh, it's indescribable
really! I can honestly say that I encountered the presence of God this
morning.

What especially struck me about visiting the church today (and
visiting Africa in general) was how welcoming everyone was. They have
a special time in the service for visitors to stand up and be greeted,
and they even let visitors leave the sanctuary first when church is
over to be greeted by some of the church staff. As we were ushered
outside to meet some of the staff, we were led into a little room
where they had a short presentation about the church and mostly just
reinforced the fact that they wanted us to feel welcome. It was so
cool! All this hospitality has really got me thinking about our
customs in America. While I haven't exactly visited many churches in
my life, I still don't think I knownof many churches who make visitors
feel so, so welcome! I hope people in other countries don't visit and
think we're inhospitable because the people here really hammer
hospitality into visitors heads. "Karibu" is the Swahili word for
"welcome", it's gloriously overused! You visit a restaurant, and your
waiter will say that. You enter someone's home and they'll say
that...probably 10 times before you leave. Haha! It's great!

Another one of my highlights thus far was the little friendship I
formed with darling Fatma. (Pictured above.) She's one of the few girls who was invited
to the lessons on relationships that we presented to Nyota -- and I'm
convinced she was chosen for her brilliance and her leadership skills.
She's 15 years old and speaks nearly fluent English and has a love for
all things science. As I talked with her about her life, it was neat
to hear about her dreams of getting a job as an engineer and helping
support her family. But then my heart began breaking when she told me
that her father died two years ago, and that her mother doesn't have
enough money to support her. All that's to say that she probably won't
go to college or get a job that allows her to put her brilliant mind
to work, which is pretty horrifying. Plain and simple. Honestly, I've
realized that there comes a point where a sort of indignation replaces
any "romantic" feelings one may have had towards poverty previously.
While it is "heart-wrenching" and "sad" (adjectives I used just
earlier in this email), poverty goes far beyond that. It's real. It's
oppressive. It's horrifiying.

This all really hit home in my mind when Fatma invited me to come to
her house and meet her mom. I didn't really know what to expect in
terms of their living conditions. I mean, Fatma was pretty well-
dressed and spoke English very well, so it couldn't be that bad,
right? Wrong. She and her mom live in a room in a building along a rundown alleyway,

which I'm not sure we should actually call a building. They have one bed. Their
clothes are in bags. They share a bathroom of sorts with the rest of
the people who live in that alleyway. And the room can't be more than
15 feet by 15 feet. Yet, they're so proud of their home and so, so
welcoming! Fatma's mother Zaynab definitely said "karibu" 12 times or
something! My experience with the two of them will be hard to forget.

Things to pray for:
1. The boys and the families of the boys who play for Nyota
2. Provision for Agu and his family
3. Provision for Fatuma and her mom -perhaps a way for her to continue
on in her schooling
4. Continued team unity
5. That we would be sensitive to seeking/grasping/understanding the
life-changing lessons God wants to teach us here.

Thank you for your prayers! We need them!

Grace and peace be with you.

one.

I've got a busy summer. And busy times call for extreme measures.

Well, that's not how the saying goes. But whatever.

What I'm trying to say is that instead of writing spiffy things about my recent trip to Tanzania and Kenya, I'm just going to post the few email updates I sent out to friends, family, and sponsors.

So here's numero uno:

Dear friends,

Just sending you all a little update about things from the other side
of the world!

My team and I have made it safely to Arusha, Tanzania! Our journey
here was certainly a lengthy one. We departed from LA on Sunday, May
30 and flew to Zurich, Switzerland for a layover. Our 17-hour layover
in Zurich, however, was much, much more enjoyable than the fiasco of a
layover we had in Dakar, Senegal last year. We got to spend a bit of
time exploring the city, which is absolutely beautiful - I'm
definitely planning to go back there someday! From Zurich, we flew
down to Nairobi, Kenya where we stayed for a night in a little retreat
center run by a group of Franciscan nuns. They are some of the
sweetest women I have ever met! Not to mention that they make the best
milk tea in the entire world! After a night at the retreat center, we
got on a shuttle that took us on a long (and quite bumpy) 6-hour
journey from Nairobi to Arusha. Last night, we finally made it to
Arusha after about 30 hours of travel. While part of the fun is the
journey, I'm certainly glad to be staying in one place for a few days!

All that's to say that today was our first "real" day, in a sense. We
spent the majority of it in one of the slum neighborhoods of Arusha
called Unga, which has apparently been nicknamed "the den of thieves".
Nyota Football Academy, one of the ministries Wild Hope (the non-
profit organization we're partnering with) sponsors and works with, is
in Unga. This small soccer club is run by two Tanzanian brothers who
have a heart for helping the young people of their city. (Agu, one of the

brothers is in the picture with me) They build relationships

with street kids in this pretty corrupt neighborhood
whom they invite into their soccer club and begin investing in. It's
awesome! Not only are young kids learning soccer and staying off the
streets, but they're also learning life skills and improving their
English. I was so excited to come back and work with Nyota again! We
connected so well with them last year, and I was looking forward to
interacting with them again.

Part of the work we'll be doing with Nyota is life skill training. We
as a team are presenting a lesson/module on relationships during our
time here. And today, we began our first part of that. I think we were
all a but nervous about beginning these lessons because of the
difficulty of translating our pints across cultural and language
barriers. But, fortunately, our first lesson went really well and was
very well received!

One of my highlights so far has to be simply coming back to the same
places we visited last year and reuniting with the friends we made
last year! It's been fun (and surprising) to find that lots of people
remember us! It's so cool! I can't explain how special it is to be
able to return to and revisit a place that had such a profound impact
on my life.

I hope to be able to send you more updates soon, but in the meantime,
I'd love for you to lift up the following things in prayer:

1. Team unity
2. Clarity in communication for the relationship modules with Nyota
3. Life-changing growth in the hearts of the students on our team

Thank you so much for your support! I'm looking forward to the great
things God still has in store for us!

Grace & peace.

oh, my.

Rather than Tweet (yes, I finally succumbed and got a Twitter) the first few pages of my latest read in their entirety, I thought I'd simply copy them here. I feel Piper's words have a strong correlation to my last post on missions and evangelism. The truth they bear makes it necessary for me to share them with you.

(Side note: Though I have yet to complete the second page of the book, I would highly recommend it.)

(Side, side note: The italicized portions below are parts that I found particularly poignant. However, they are not in the original text.)

"Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.

"Worship, therefore, is the fuel and goal of missions. It's the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God's glory. The goal of missions is the gladness of the peoples in the greatness of God. 'The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad!' (Psalm 97:1). 'Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you! Let the nations be glad and sing for joy!' (Psalm 67:3-4).

"But worship is also the fuel of missions. Passion for God in worship precedes the offer of God in preaching. You can't commend what you don't cherish. Missionaries will never call out, 'Let the nations be glad!' who cannot say from the heart, 'I rejoice in the LORD...I will be glad and exult in you, I will sing praise to your name, O Most High' (Psalm 104:34; 9:2). Missions begins and ends in worship.

"If the pursuit of God's glory is not ordered above the pursuit of man's good in the affections of the heart and the priorities of the church, man will not be well served, and God will not be duly honored. I am not pleading for diminishing of missions but for a magnifying of God. When the flame of worship burns with the heat of God's true worth, the light of missions will shine to the darkest peoples on earth. And I long for that day to come!

"Where passion for God is weak, zeal for missions will be weak. Churches that are not centered on the exaltation of the majesty and beauty of God will scarcely kindle a fervent desire to 'declare his glory among the nations' (Psalm 96:3). Even outsiders feel the disparity between the boldness of our claim upon the nations and the blandness of our engagement with God."

- Let the Nations Be Glad! by John Piper

What a way to start a book, right?! The weight of it hit me like a brick. A really big brick. But a really good brick. That last line's a real kicker.

May zeal for your house consume me.

Psalm 69:9

And may your name and your renown be the sole desire of my heart, O Lord!

Isaiah 26:8