where you are.

Since giving up Facebook for Lent about a month ago, I figured I'd have all this extra time to write. But that expectation has proven entirely false. I'm beginning to wonder if giving it up was more the hand of God looking out for me, than me trying to set time aside to observe and contemplate him. 

In either case, life has been incredibly busy.

So busy, that I have an even more apathetic and lethargic attitude towards school than before. I'm just weary. I feel somewhat like a gopher drilling a hole into the earth, and despite being halted in progress by the presence of a large boulder underneath the layers of dirt, I continue digging just for the sake of digging.

On top of this lack of motivation, is this growing desire to just discard the unnecessary things in my life. I so want my life to have meaning and purpose; and at this particular time, I feel like there are so many things in my life that serve no purpose; things that I'm doing just to do; things that contribute to my "digging for the sake of digging."

We sang a song in church tonight that says it: 

"I wanna be where you are."

I just want to be where God is. Serving him. Loving his people. Learning about him.

Everything else pales in comparison. 

What's the point of life if we're not focused on the source of it? Why do I have to be in school? Why do I have to learn about regression lines in Statistics? Why do I continue learning about literary devices?

I feel like this picture captures the essence of the place I'm in. While driving up to Big Bear on a cloudy day, we reached a point on the winding road where we passed through and above the clouds. It was incredible!

And I wish that I could do that with my life: rise above its mundane and repetitive course, tap into the heart of God, and live in simple service to him--without Statistics, AP English, or this thing called high school.