Fly.

Figured I should probably post the song as well...just to make things easier on you. (See previous post to get the context/background story on this song. Listen for the angel!)

God is awesome.

Incredible song. Incredible testimony to the greatness and power of God.

Watch this, then listen to the song.

It'll rock you.

four.

Dear friends,

This email has been a long time coming. I've put it off for a while because, honestly, I don't quite know what to say. I've been back from Africa for almost two weeks now, and I'm still processing through and trying to figure out the purpose for which God sent me on this trip.

First, however, I'll start by telling you about the last few days of our trip. The team spent our last four days on the continent of Africa in Nairobi, Kenya. We stayed at a convent, where some lovely nuns run a retreat center. It was a wonderful place to relax, unwind, and reflect before we all returned to our lives rather busy and hectic lives back home in the States. While we were in Nairobi, however, we also spent some mornings and afternoons working at the Missionaries of Charity - an order of charity homes started by Mother Teresa years ago.

This place really, really impacted me last year. It's a beautiful ministry, and a little slice of heaven in the middle of a rather hell-ish slum. While I loved being back there, it was still really hard for me. This year, we had the opportunity to serve in the disabled childrens' ward, which was heart-wrenching and hopeful, all at the same time. I get so excited just thinking about how awesome it is that these precious children, who were once abandoned, and who are now finally being taken care of and finally being loved. But then I sort of cringe at the fact that so many of them are still in pain and silently suffering. I've never really worked with disabled children, so doing it for the first time was very difficult. The inability to communicate with many of them was one of the hardest parts. It's hard to want to take care of someone but have no idea what they want!

The hardest moment of all for me, however, was dressing the children after their daily baths. During the afternoons, the women bathe the children and set them on a dressing table to be dried and dressed. It's like a loving little assembly line. What immediately struck me when I headed over there was how contorted so many of the children's bodies were. When they're clothed, you can't exactly see what's wrong with them. But when they're not, their twisted legs, hunched backs, and stiff arms are clearly visible. I had to make myself useful though, so I walked up to the table and attempted to work at the pretty stressful job of dressing these sweet children with stiff arms and legs. I was so afraid of stretching an arm too far and hurting them, but one worker kept telling me, "Don't be afraid," and proceeded to pass me more children to dress. So there I was, drying and dressing disabled children after their daily baths, wanting to break down in tears, but feeling pressured to work as fast as I could to move on to the next shivering child. Honestly, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. After one afternoon of doing that, I was completely exhausted - physically and emotionally. But what's crazy is that the women who work there do all that and more, every single day.

That was another thing I was struck by: the women who work there. Both female employees and nuns run the ministry. Last year, I left Nairobi completely in awe of the sisters who work there: they have given up their entire lives to love on people who have been abandoned by their families. But this year, I interacted more with the women who are simply employees there. They're truly unbelievable! Everyday, from the hours of 6:30 AM to 5:00 PM they love, bathe, clean, feed, and play with these children, only to return home and care for their OWN families. And then, they come back and do it all over again the following day. What huge hearts they have! I worked less than a day and a half and was completely exhausted. I don't know how they manage to do this everyday, with families of their own at home to care for as well!

Ultimately, I left the Missionaries of Charity in such perplexity. I was so encouraged by the purpose of the home: to love people who (far too often) go unloved in this world. But I was so heartbroken for the children: why did God create such beautiful children who have to suffer so much? I think it's something I'll never understand...

As for the trip in general, I'm still unsure of what God was trying to teach me. I went in with my own expectations and left with most of those unmet. In their place, I found myself unexpectedly processing and thinking about the overall purpose of missions, the effectiveness of short-term missions, and where my calling fits into all that. So many times, I buy into this perception of missions that says, "I'm going to another country. I'm going to help the people there. And I'm going to change them." But what I've learned is that it doesn't always happen that way, and, even more, perhaps it shouldn't happen that way. On this trip in particular, I often found myself feeling like the team wasn't "doing" enough or that things we were doing didn't have much meaning or purpose. And I got really frustrated.

But as I talked to Byron Borden, the missionary with whose ministry Maranatha High School has partnered, my frustration was eased. He, though frustrated with some of these very same things, still thinks it's worth it. He and I discussed (and concluded) that though we may feel as if we're not "doing" much, coming out is still worth it because we are being changed, and our callings and worldviews are being shaped. Though what we see may not be what we expected, it is still good and still able to be used by God. One thing that I liked most about what he said was that perhaps this perception of "going and doing" needs to be shifted. Perhaps short-term missions should be re-named or somehow re-cast to something more along the lines of "going and seeing".

Ultimately, I'm reminded that it's never me who does the work, but my God who is so powerful and incomprehensible. And it's there that I'm choosing to rest, while being thankful that despite my many inadequacies, he is choosing to let me be a part of furthering his kingdom!

Thank you all so much for your prayerful support. What a blessing the body of Christ is! I'm continually finding myself in awe of the places God is taking and the things he's doing in my life. So thank you for being a part of this journey, which is turning out to be quite wild!

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26

three.

Jambo!

We have made it back to Arusha safely from our week-long safari in the
Bush! What a week it was! My experience there this time around was
quite different from before. When we visited last year, the valley was
in a horrible drought. Most, if not all, of the men were miles away in
search of land for their cattle to graze. The land was just devastated
because there was so little water. I remember praying while we were
out there that God would heal the land and restore the life and hope
of the people living there. And sure enough, those prayers were
answered! As we drove into the valley, I could literally see the
difference! My heart leaped when I saw green field after green field
full of growing corn. Not only that, but we actually saw cows (healthy
ones at that) and men around the village! Although they lost about 90%
of their cattle, things are looking up this year! (The picture above shows

the improvement.)

Here are a few of the highlights I had this past week:

1. Filling in the gaping holes in the floor of the village schoolhouse
with cement. (I never knew how difficult mixing cement was!) Learning
how to do that was a rather difficult task, but the results were so
worth it!

2. Revisiting the valley and seeing such wonderful change in the land.

3. Roasting a goat. Believe it or not, I stood and watched the entire
process. Our Maasai friend and goat roasting extraordinaire Isaiah
brought a goat to our camp on Friday night, and we all stood by and
watched as he and his sons killed, skinned, cut up, and roasted the
goat. In terms of a cultural experience, it was a good one! It was
pretty funny watching Isaiah and his sons' reactions to our screaming
and squirming. It really highlighted the disparity and differences
between our cultures: we have no idea how to skin and roast a goat,
and many of them have no idea how to open a car door. In terms of
cuisine, however, goat is not my meat of choice. I did try it, but I
happened to get sick later that night (not from the goat, probably
just from dehydration) and unfortunately, I will forever associate
goat meat with feeling ill. (Although, I suppose that's not too
unfortunate a aituation as it's a much better deal for the goats!)

4. Interacting with the Maasai. Due to the fact that we were camping
out there for a longer period of time, we had the ability to interact
with more of the people fom the village. The guy I mentioned before,
Isaiah, was a huge hit among our group! He didn't speak a lick of
English but absolutely loved sitting with us and at least attempting
to communicate. He had a great sense of humor and loved taking "gifts"
from our group. Pretty sure he got a pair of sunglasses and some
family pictures out of us by the time we left. Despite that, I have
him to thank for my spiffy Maasai walking stick and for teaching me
how to count from 1-10 in Maasai! Oh, what a character! There's so
much more to say about him that is simply too difficult to relay in an
email. Ask me about him sometime!

5. Talking with Pastor James Kukan. Pastor James is actually the
contact Wild Hope has with that village, and his vision for that
valley and the Maasai people as a whole are the reason Wild Hope takes
teams out there! He was one of my highlights from my trip last year,
so I was really looking forward to seeing him again. He has such a
huge heart for his people - not just in his village, but in Maasai
land in general! I love listening to him share his heart because it
reminds me that God is already at work in the remotest places of the
world! Sometimes I catch myself thinking that we as Western Christians
have all the answers and all the solutions. But when I meet people
like Pastor James I'm reminded that we aren't the solution, and we
don't have all the answers. God is raising up people, natives of their
own countries, to lead and have incredibly powerful ministries! I just
love that we're able to come alongside Pastor James to encourage and
support his extensive and blossoming ministry!

I'm really excited about what God is doing in the hearts of our team
members - our prayers for unity are being answered! Pray for strength
an endurance in these next few days. The final leg of our trip
(working at the Missionaries of Charity home started by Mother Teresa)
is both exciting and hard, especially emotionally. Plus, we're all
still pretty tired from our safari. Also pray for continued health.
We've stayed pretty healthy on the whole, but have had a few upset
stomachs, which are less than desirable.

Thanks so much for your support and prayers!

two.

Dear friends,

Our time here in Arusha is coming to a close. On Monday, we leave to
head out to the more rural area of Tanzania known as the Bush. We'll
be camping in a Maasai village for about a week and have the chance to
interact with the Maasai children and learn from them about their
daily life and their culture's traditions.

While I am very excited to move on to the next aspect of our trip, I
am really sad to be leaving the Nyota soccer club. The kids and the
leaders of this program are just the coolest! At lunch yesterday, I
had the chance to listen to one of Nyota's founders named Agu talk
about the mission behind Nyota. Oh man, his heart is as big as the sky
here! Though he was brought up and still lives in the very poor
neighborhood of Unga, he has a deep desire to see young boys' lives
transformed. It was so special to be able to listen to him talk about
the ways that he disciples these kids and has even been leading some
to the Lord -- not to mention how well he cares for them, even while
he himself doesn't have much. After he shared with us, I asked him how
we could pray for him, and in true Agu style he asked for us to pray
for his family but only after we pray for the Nyota kids.

One of my other highlights thus far has been the visit to the African
church we took today! I didn't really know what to expect, and I still
don't really know how to describe it! All I can say is that Africans
really know how to do church! They just dance and groove the whole
time in worship -- it's fun to watch and absolutely beautiful to
listen to! Their singing was simply angelic as the sound of everyone's
voices floated high up to the peaked ceilings. Oh, it's indescribable
really! I can honestly say that I encountered the presence of God this
morning.

What especially struck me about visiting the church today (and
visiting Africa in general) was how welcoming everyone was. They have
a special time in the service for visitors to stand up and be greeted,
and they even let visitors leave the sanctuary first when church is
over to be greeted by some of the church staff. As we were ushered
outside to meet some of the staff, we were led into a little room
where they had a short presentation about the church and mostly just
reinforced the fact that they wanted us to feel welcome. It was so
cool! All this hospitality has really got me thinking about our
customs in America. While I haven't exactly visited many churches in
my life, I still don't think I knownof many churches who make visitors
feel so, so welcome! I hope people in other countries don't visit and
think we're inhospitable because the people here really hammer
hospitality into visitors heads. "Karibu" is the Swahili word for
"welcome", it's gloriously overused! You visit a restaurant, and your
waiter will say that. You enter someone's home and they'll say
that...probably 10 times before you leave. Haha! It's great!

Another one of my highlights thus far was the little friendship I
formed with darling Fatma. (Pictured above.) She's one of the few girls who was invited
to the lessons on relationships that we presented to Nyota -- and I'm
convinced she was chosen for her brilliance and her leadership skills.
She's 15 years old and speaks nearly fluent English and has a love for
all things science. As I talked with her about her life, it was neat
to hear about her dreams of getting a job as an engineer and helping
support her family. But then my heart began breaking when she told me
that her father died two years ago, and that her mother doesn't have
enough money to support her. All that's to say that she probably won't
go to college or get a job that allows her to put her brilliant mind
to work, which is pretty horrifying. Plain and simple. Honestly, I've
realized that there comes a point where a sort of indignation replaces
any "romantic" feelings one may have had towards poverty previously.
While it is "heart-wrenching" and "sad" (adjectives I used just
earlier in this email), poverty goes far beyond that. It's real. It's
oppressive. It's horrifiying.

This all really hit home in my mind when Fatma invited me to come to
her house and meet her mom. I didn't really know what to expect in
terms of their living conditions. I mean, Fatma was pretty well-
dressed and spoke English very well, so it couldn't be that bad,
right? Wrong. She and her mom live in a room in a building along a rundown alleyway,

which I'm not sure we should actually call a building. They have one bed. Their
clothes are in bags. They share a bathroom of sorts with the rest of
the people who live in that alleyway. And the room can't be more than
15 feet by 15 feet. Yet, they're so proud of their home and so, so
welcoming! Fatma's mother Zaynab definitely said "karibu" 12 times or
something! My experience with the two of them will be hard to forget.

Things to pray for:
1. The boys and the families of the boys who play for Nyota
2. Provision for Agu and his family
3. Provision for Fatuma and her mom -perhaps a way for her to continue
on in her schooling
4. Continued team unity
5. That we would be sensitive to seeking/grasping/understanding the
life-changing lessons God wants to teach us here.

Thank you for your prayers! We need them!

Grace and peace be with you.

one.

I've got a busy summer. And busy times call for extreme measures.

Well, that's not how the saying goes. But whatever.

What I'm trying to say is that instead of writing spiffy things about my recent trip to Tanzania and Kenya, I'm just going to post the few email updates I sent out to friends, family, and sponsors.

So here's numero uno:

Dear friends,

Just sending you all a little update about things from the other side
of the world!

My team and I have made it safely to Arusha, Tanzania! Our journey
here was certainly a lengthy one. We departed from LA on Sunday, May
30 and flew to Zurich, Switzerland for a layover. Our 17-hour layover
in Zurich, however, was much, much more enjoyable than the fiasco of a
layover we had in Dakar, Senegal last year. We got to spend a bit of
time exploring the city, which is absolutely beautiful - I'm
definitely planning to go back there someday! From Zurich, we flew
down to Nairobi, Kenya where we stayed for a night in a little retreat
center run by a group of Franciscan nuns. They are some of the
sweetest women I have ever met! Not to mention that they make the best
milk tea in the entire world! After a night at the retreat center, we
got on a shuttle that took us on a long (and quite bumpy) 6-hour
journey from Nairobi to Arusha. Last night, we finally made it to
Arusha after about 30 hours of travel. While part of the fun is the
journey, I'm certainly glad to be staying in one place for a few days!

All that's to say that today was our first "real" day, in a sense. We
spent the majority of it in one of the slum neighborhoods of Arusha
called Unga, which has apparently been nicknamed "the den of thieves".
Nyota Football Academy, one of the ministries Wild Hope (the non-
profit organization we're partnering with) sponsors and works with, is
in Unga. This small soccer club is run by two Tanzanian brothers who
have a heart for helping the young people of their city. (Agu, one of the

brothers is in the picture with me) They build relationships

with street kids in this pretty corrupt neighborhood
whom they invite into their soccer club and begin investing in. It's
awesome! Not only are young kids learning soccer and staying off the
streets, but they're also learning life skills and improving their
English. I was so excited to come back and work with Nyota again! We
connected so well with them last year, and I was looking forward to
interacting with them again.

Part of the work we'll be doing with Nyota is life skill training. We
as a team are presenting a lesson/module on relationships during our
time here. And today, we began our first part of that. I think we were
all a but nervous about beginning these lessons because of the
difficulty of translating our pints across cultural and language
barriers. But, fortunately, our first lesson went really well and was
very well received!

One of my highlights so far has to be simply coming back to the same
places we visited last year and reuniting with the friends we made
last year! It's been fun (and surprising) to find that lots of people
remember us! It's so cool! I can't explain how special it is to be
able to return to and revisit a place that had such a profound impact
on my life.

I hope to be able to send you more updates soon, but in the meantime,
I'd love for you to lift up the following things in prayer:

1. Team unity
2. Clarity in communication for the relationship modules with Nyota
3. Life-changing growth in the hearts of the students on our team

Thank you so much for your support! I'm looking forward to the great
things God still has in store for us!

Grace & peace.

oh, my.

Rather than Tweet (yes, I finally succumbed and got a Twitter) the first few pages of my latest read in their entirety, I thought I'd simply copy them here. I feel Piper's words have a strong correlation to my last post on missions and evangelism. The truth they bear makes it necessary for me to share them with you.

(Side note: Though I have yet to complete the second page of the book, I would highly recommend it.)

(Side, side note: The italicized portions below are parts that I found particularly poignant. However, they are not in the original text.)

"Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.

"Worship, therefore, is the fuel and goal of missions. It's the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God's glory. The goal of missions is the gladness of the peoples in the greatness of God. 'The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad!' (Psalm 97:1). 'Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you! Let the nations be glad and sing for joy!' (Psalm 67:3-4).

"But worship is also the fuel of missions. Passion for God in worship precedes the offer of God in preaching. You can't commend what you don't cherish. Missionaries will never call out, 'Let the nations be glad!' who cannot say from the heart, 'I rejoice in the LORD...I will be glad and exult in you, I will sing praise to your name, O Most High' (Psalm 104:34; 9:2). Missions begins and ends in worship.

"If the pursuit of God's glory is not ordered above the pursuit of man's good in the affections of the heart and the priorities of the church, man will not be well served, and God will not be duly honored. I am not pleading for diminishing of missions but for a magnifying of God. When the flame of worship burns with the heat of God's true worth, the light of missions will shine to the darkest peoples on earth. And I long for that day to come!

"Where passion for God is weak, zeal for missions will be weak. Churches that are not centered on the exaltation of the majesty and beauty of God will scarcely kindle a fervent desire to 'declare his glory among the nations' (Psalm 96:3). Even outsiders feel the disparity between the boldness of our claim upon the nations and the blandness of our engagement with God."

- Let the Nations Be Glad! by John Piper

What a way to start a book, right?! The weight of it hit me like a brick. A really big brick. But a really good brick. That last line's a real kicker.

May zeal for your house consume me.

Psalm 69:9

And may your name and your renown be the sole desire of my heart, O Lord!

Isaiah 26:8

evangelism.

I've been waiting for quite some time to write this post. I do possess quite a sense of urgency regarding the topic upon whose waters I am about to navigate, despite its delay in reaching your computer screen. Just know that its postponement has no correlation with the level of importance it has recently begun to occupy in my mind.

First, allow me to preface my discourse.

As I reflect upon the very recent closure of my freshman year of college, I can’t help but remember the way it began, and how far I’ve come since then. In August of 2009, I returned from a month-long excursion on the great continent of Africa. If you’ve been following my writing for a while, you may recall the extensive impact that journey had on my life. My return to the United States was a rather tumultuous one. Though I refused to have the “typical Africa experience” and attempted to steer clear of having to admit to experiencing culture shock, it inevitably took place.

In a matter of two weeks, I was forced to not only adjust to life back in America but also say goodbye to everything I’ve ever known and move across the country to the complete unknown. It was a struggle, to say the very least. I sank into loneliness, and I began questioning my purpose. My daily life, which consisted of writing papers and reading a bunch of books written by men who died centuries ago, seemed so mundane and meaningless. I felt like those things had little relevance and made no contribution to eternity. All I wanted to do was go back to Africa, where I felt like I had found meaning and purpose.

However, as the months went on, I learned a great deal and found that purpose was slowly being infused back into my life.

Enter the concept of evangelism.

In my mind, evangelism has always been secondary, or better: controversial. I didn’t really know what it looked like because I’d never really seen it practiced. It seemed like some icky thing that really prideful Christians did to “force their beliefs down others’ throats”.

In my mind, evangelists were the people who walked around at the Rose Parade with signs screaming, “Turn or burn!” to the innocent bystanders trying to enjoy the New Years’ festivities. (“Fire and brimstone” approach? Not very effective, just saying.)

In my mind, if evangelism looked like that, I didn’t want to be a part of it.

In my mind, evangelism was sharing the Gospel through my actions. I considered mission work helping people out of the unjust oppression of poverty, equipping people with practical skills to enable them to become more competent members of society, restoring hope, bringing love, and the like.

And while being a doer of the Word certainly has a place in our faith—after all, God tells the Israelites in Isaiah:

“Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house, when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?” (Isaiah 58:6-7)

and James urges believers to

“be doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22)—

our doing the Word does not mean we are exempt from a duty to also be preachers of the Word.

For far too long I shrunk back in fear, preferring the “preach the Gospel, use words if necessary” approach mostly because it meant that I never had to get out of my comfort zone and tell people about Jesus (that of course, would be much too risky!). For me, this approach was a “cop-out”. I was too concerned with how I would be perceived and with offending people who may already be disgusted with the church.

But if I say that I want people to have what I have, why am I not shouting it from the rooftops? Because it’s inconvenient? Because that would be shoving it down people’s throats? Because it might hurt their feelings? Because it might put my reputation at risk?

Our Savior calls us to preach the Word. How can I ignore his call? The last command he gives the disciples,

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

ought to be reason enough to share the Gospel.

In 1 Corinthians 9:16, Paul even says, “Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel!” Conversely, Isaiah 52:7 says, “Blessed are the feet of him who brings good news!” Oh, how much more I prefer blessing than woe!

People are the currency of heaven. The lives touched by the way I live will be the proof I present for my faith at heaven’s gates.

In coming to face all of this, I have had my own value system completely upset. And I’ve learned a thing or two in the process. So to the ones in doubt—a group of which I was a part for far too long—I would like to share with you what I’ve learned along the way.

1. Jesus is what this world needs.

Jean Danielou said, “The world today does not need greater social organization but a Savior: man today needs someone who will answer the fundamental problems of his existence, which no social structure has ever been able to answer.”

While mission work does need to address people’s physical needs, it must address the soul’s needs. Lives are not transformed unless bodies and souls are restored. I am not a missionary if my work looks like the humanitarian efforts of the secular society around me. As a Christian, I must be doing it differently; I must be sharing the Gospel!

And because Jesus is what the world needs, I can’t believe the lie that people don’t want to hear this good news. This is what all creation is groaning for (see Romans 8). Assuming that people don’t want to hear what I have to share with them is silly—especially given that my friends and I saw people on our very own Christian university’s campus come to know Jesus! The proof makes it an undeniable necessity.

2. It’s not about me.

One fear I had before this realization was the fear of rejection. But I’ve learned that when people reject my words, they’re not rejecting me, they’re rejecting the Gospel: “The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects him who sent me” (Luke 10:16).

Ultimately, when I choose to shrink back, when I don’t step out in faith, when I don’t share the Gospel, I’m denying God the opportunity to work through me, and I’m denying someone a chance at salvation and eternal life.

Something is terribly wrong when I begin putting my own personal comfort above God’s purposes for the world.

3. Salvation is a process.

I’m merely a cog in the machine. I’m simply sowing seeds to be reaped later.

Not everyone accepts the Gospel the first time they hear it. When I share with someone and they choose to make Jesus the Lord of their life, it’s highly possible that ten people have shared with them before me. Other times, I may be the very first one to share with them and because it’s so new, they may choose not to accept it. Nevertheless, I need to remain faithful and obedient, realizing that I my efforts are a relevant part of the process.

4. It’s fun!

Share with people their one and only opportunity for a chance at eternal life? What better thing could I ever want to do? Seeing people come to Jesus is a blast! Call me crazy. Call me foolish. I don’t care. My God uses “what is foolish in the world to shame the wise…what is weak in the world to shame the strong…what is low and despised in the world…to bring to nothing things that are” (1 Corinthians 1:27-28). I can’t believe Jesus chooses to use me and you in this process of redeeming creation!

So back to the main point…

Understanding all of this has not only revolutionized my perception of mission work, but also my feeling about my purpose at this time in my life. Though I may not be able to go to the nations, there is a nation at my fingertips thirsty for good news! There are practical things I can do everyday to contribute to eternity!

So go. Go share the Gospel. Make it a part of your daily life: at the gas station, with your waiter at a restaurant, with the man on the corner, with your professor. Ask people how you can pray for them. Ask people if they know Jesus. Share your testimony. No one can take your story from you. Besides, Revelation 12:11 says that we will overcome by “the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony”! Your testimony is powerful!

Try it once this week. I promise that any “pain” you experience is incomparable to the potential pain in hell the other person’s soul will be spared in heaven!

What post is complete without some song lyrics?

So it’s with everything I am, I reach out for your hand

The hope that changed the second chance I’ve gained

On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside

How could greater love than this ever possibly exist?

…

So I wait upon you now with my hands released to you

Where a little faith’s enough to see mountains lift and move

And I wait upon you now dedicated to your will

To this love that will remain a love that never fails

“Second Chance” (Hillsong United)

how he loves.

I wouldn't recommend watching this while you're in the library studying for finals. I'm sure my tears distracted a few people.

But I suggest you watch it regardless. You've got to know the story behind the song.

Jesus is alive. He's moving. Can you feel it?

video.

Remember that song I told you to buy a few weeks ago? Well, here it is...in video format! (Which, I must say, more accurately captures it's greatness. Or rather, the greatness of our God!)

This was taken at my church's annual missions conference that will pretty much rock your face off!

Please watch.

faithful.

This is a miracle.

My Great Texts' essay is due on Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 12:00 PM. It is Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 9:00 PM, and I haven't started. I should have started last week. But I didn't. (Don't ask me why.)

I have just rushed to the library and claimed a spot in the most isolated study carrell I could find, which is pretty hard to do this week seeing as everyone and their mom decided to come here all at once to finish last-minute papers, projects, and the like. My humble desk of choice is by an electrical outlet, of course. I anticipate that it's going to be a long night, which means lots of electricity will be needed to keep the technology running.

I turn on my computer, dreading the next 36 hours' duration, which will mostly be full of desperation, frustration, and illogical articulation. In a final effort of procrastination, I check my email. (Enjoying the end rhyme yet? I'm easily amused in states of exhaustion-ation.)

Lo and behold, an email from my professor titled "Papers Papers Papers! (Did I hear extension?)" is sitting in my inbox. My heart skipped a beat. And I wished my hands would move faster. I just couldn't seem to open it fast enough.

Yes, 'tis true! Now my paper - nay, (essentially) the crowning achievement of my career in Great Texts - is due on Monday, May 3, 2010 at 3:00 PM.

I've been praying that God would multiply my time. It's sort of an odd prayer if you think about it. I mean, really: How will my time be multiplied? What does that even look like? Will hours move slower? Will some days have 36 hours instead of 24?

Alas, I will never know because

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:9

I'm so glad he's in control.

He's faithful to the end.

He's faithful to my heart.

question.

For once in a really long time, I have time to kill on a weekday.

I've been keeping a list of questions that I've had lately, and I thought I'd share them with you.

1. How are we to love other selflessly and yet not let ourselves be mercilessly trampled upon?

2. Given what Matthew 24:14, is Jesus' return really contingent on an action we as humans complete?

3. If God is for us and his will is to make people whole, why aren't our prayers for healing always answered?

4. What does speaking the honest truth with gentleness look like?

5. How do you reconcile restoring people's souls (evangelism) with restoring people's lives (social work)?

6. Why do I get to live like this when they have to live like that?

7. When did it all of a sudden become the government's responsibility to care for the poor? Why didn't the church step up?

8. What does taking up our cross practically look like in our society today?

9. How do we reconcile faith and reason about faith?

10. What's the point of theology if we can never fully know God?

Feel free to leave a comment. I'd be interested to hear what you say.

(Also, yes. The cartoon has nothing to do with this post. Thanks, Google!)

when heaven meets earth.

And just think: I almost didn't go.

For the past seven days, I have been heavily occupied watching heaven meet earth. And let me be the first to say that when this takes place, crazy things happen. Here's the tale...

Each Spring Break, my church takes about 600 college students on a mission trip. In the past, they traveled to Juarez, Mexico, but due to political complications in recent years, they have taken everyone to a town on the border of Texas called Edinburg. The term town, however, is probably a little misleading. I was under the impression that all 600 of us would overwhelmingly descend upon this "town", and everyone living there would hear the Gospel at least 5 times. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately), I was wrong. Edinburg is quite large, certainly as large as, if not larger, than Waco.

My life up until this trip has been incredibly. busy. Not the kind of busy in which you feel like you don't get to see your friends enough or don't have enough time to walk your dog, but in which you are battling exhaustion constantly, never getting a moment to yourself, and totally consumed by one thing (in my case, school). So to be quite frank, my excitement for the trip was rather minimal. All I wanted was to take a week off to sleep and just "be".

But God had different plans.

And if I've learned one thing about God recently, it's that his plans for us are good. Not good like a hamburger good, but good like something-that-just-happened-resonated-with-something-really-deep-inside-my-soul good. Yeah. That good.

So the trip...

Last Saturday morning, 600 college students piled into a bunch of buses and embarked on an 8-hour journey to the land of Edinburg, Texas. In the coming days, they proceeded to share the Gospel with various neighborhoods and witness heaven meeting earth. What that looks like is hard to describe. All I know is that when the glory of the Almighty God's infinitude meets human's depravity and finitude, things get shaken up, the church in Acts comes alive.

This week, I saw the blind receive sight, the lame walk, and the poor hear the good news (Matthew 11:5). All my skepticism went out the window. There's no room for doubt when you pray for a lady's foot and it's healed.

That's what happened the first day we went out on an outreach. Our team was dropped off in a very poor neighborhood known called the "Alamo", but more fondly referred to as "Little Mexico". Most houses were shanties. Undernourished dogs walked the streets. And trash decorated most front yards. We split up into groups of three and four and knocked on doors around the neighborhood to ask people if they needed help around the house or if we could pray for healing in some way.

The third house at which we stopped was where we met Marta. She was cordial but rather disinterested. We asked her if there was anything we could pray for and after a moment of silence, she said we could pray for her niece Desiree, whom she held in her arms. We prayed for Desiree, nothing very specific, and went on our way.

As we were talking to an older couple down the street, Marta rushed up and asked us to come back to her house. A bit perplexed, we finished up what we were doing down the street and headed back to Marta's. She invited us on to the porch and asked us to pray for her mother Maria whose foot had been hurting her for the past four or five months. I looked down and cringed. Her ankle was swollen and quite deformed; it was obvious that walking was quite painful and probably pretty unbearable.

We proceeded to lay hands upon Maria and pray for her foot. We did this three times. Each time we did, the pain subsided a little, and by the third time it was completely gone. To be sure, Maria got up and walked around a bit only to sit back down and assure us that there wasn't any more pain. Marta even pressed on a part of Maria's arch, which just five minutes before had made her flinch in pain, but now it didn't hurt at all.

I was shocked. I was in disbelief. Though I'd heard of this kind of stuff happening, I'd never actually been a part of it. My disbelief was finally shot down when we went back two days later and Maria said the pain was still gone. It was crazy! That's the only way to describe it.

And that's just one of the healings we were a part of throughout the trip. Each day, our team of about 90 people came back with testimonies of healings. And on one day alone we counted that there were over twenty-seven!

Even better though was the incredible number of salvations we saw. As we walked around the neighborhood, we also made it a point to share the Gospel with people. When it comes to this kind of stuff, I'm usually very timid. There's a part of me that assumes that people will say no. There's a part of me that figures everyone's already heard the Gospel because this is America, and if they're not Christians already, it's probably because they don't want to be. As a result, I miss out on helping people receive the greatest gift they could ever receive. (Needless to say, that was convicting, and I'm going to change some things.)

Anyway, back to the neighborhood. As we went around, we found so many people who were hungry and lost spiritually, and a countless number of them accepted the Lord! Plus, we found lots of others who were already believers and were very interested in starting a house church, of sorts. One in particular, named Maria, agreed to host of fiesta at her house on Thursday night. Over thirty of the people we'd interacted with that week came to the event and were eager to maintain community among each other. We have a small team staying back to do follow-up stuff in that area, so in the most basic sense, we planted a church in that neighborhood! If that's not cool, I don't know what is!

On the way home, I found myself chuckling at how different I'm coming back to school than most people. Most will probably have crazy stories, but of a different sort. They'll be returning with a nice tan and with lots of hours of sleep under their belt. And then there's me. I'll have some crazy stories to tell, that's for sure. And I'll be coming back just as pale as I left and with less hours of sleep under my belt than ever.

But I wouldn't trade that for anything because I've learned that

This is what I'm made for. This is what we're all made for. This is life. This is living. This is the kingdom. This is real. This is reality. This is an adventure. This is the adventure.

All of this is just a fraction of what happened while we were there. And all that happened while we were there is just a fraction of what can happen when we call heaven down to earth.

And just think: I almost didn't go.

song.

Please purchase the song "Above Every Other Name" by Justin Rizzo.

And prepare to dance.

The end.

with everything.

Probably my favorite song. Not sure why I haven't ever posted it before.

Please indulge yourself.

consolation of philosophy.

Other people just say it better than I can:

You who control all the world everlastingly by your own reason,

Sowing the seeds of the earth and the heavens, commanding the eons

To roll from eternity; resting unmoved, you put all things in motion,

You whom no alien causes demanded to fashion creation

From mutable matter, but only the unstinting essence of true good things,

All of them, out and, most splendid yourself, in your own mind you carry

This splendid world and you shape it to mirror your image and likeness,

And you command that its perfect components accomplish perfection.

You bind in number and ratio the elements, ice and flame matching,

Dry matching moist, so there is no flight up for the rarified fire,

Earth is not dragged by its weight to sink down to the depths of the waters.

You center Soul: It unites threefold Nature, sets all things in motion;

You divide Soul and apportion it into harmonious members;

Soul, once divided, collected its motion in two equal orbits,

Moving so as to return to itself, and completely encircling

Mind at the core, so the universe wheels in its image and likeness.

You by like causes bring forth lesser souls; for these lesser creations

You fashion nimble conveyances for a heavenly journey.

You plants these souls in the heavens, in earth; by your generous statutes

You make them turn back toward you and return—a regression of fire.

Grant to the mind, Father, that it may rise to your holy foundations;

Grant it may ring round the source of the Good, may discover the true light,

And fix the soul’s vision firmly on you, vision keen and clear-sighted.

Scatter these shadows, dissolve the dead weight of this earthyl concretion,

Shine in the splendor that is yours alone: only you are the bright sky,

You are serenity, peace for the holy; their goals is to see you;

You are their source, their conveyance, their leader, their path, and their haven.

-Boethius' Consolation of Philosophy-

beloved.

Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests" - the same voice that gave life to the first Adam and spoke to Jesus, the second Adam; the same voice that speaks to all the children of God and sets them free to live in the midst of a dark world while remaining in the light.

I have heard that voice. It has spoken to me in the past and continues to speak to me now. It is the never-interrupted voice of love speaking from eternity and giving life and love whenever it is heard. When I hear that voice, I know that I am home with God and have nothing to fear.

As the Beloved of my heavenly Father, "I can walk in the valley of darkness: no evil would I fear."

As the Beloved, I can "cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out devils."

Having "received without charge," I can "give without charge."

As the Beloved, I can confront, console, admonish, and encourage without fear of rejection or need for affirmation.

As the Beloved, I can suffer persecution without the desire for revenge and receive praise without using it as a proof of my goodness.

As the Beloved, I can be tortured and killed without ever having to doubt that the love that is given to me is stronger than death.

As the Beloved, I am free to live and give life, free also to die while giving life.

-from The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen

Even now here's my heart, God.

comfort.

I'll confess: I don't feel that I have had the proper response to the disaster in Haiti. I find myself praying that God would break my heart for what breaks His own, and yet, I have been pretty insensitive to this whole disaster. I haven't done anything to help.

I'll admit: I feel trapped. I feel like my present circumstances keep me from being able to do what I really want to do. If I could have, I would have hopped on to a flight to Haiti and rushed to join the groups of people bringing relief. Instead, I feel like I have to wait till I'm an "adult" (or at least out of school) to really start living, to really start making a difference.

I conclude: I've fallen prey to the mentality that strikes far too many people. This mentality that breeds passivity and inaction, that emphasizes personal distance from a given catastrophe, that says, "This has nothing to do with you" or "If you can't go down there and help, you can't do anything."

I find myself wondering, for the about the millionth time:

What can I do?

How can I help?

Me.

A small, happy college student stuck in big, suffering world.

If I call myself a follower of Jesus Christ,

If, given that, I'm supposed to be like Jesus,

And if Jesus' first sermon went a little like this:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor;

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.

Then who am I?

What I am doing here?

Why am I not doing anything to further that mission?

And why do I get so comfortable with my life as the world rages on around me?

quotable.

I am reassured to know that the straightness of my grain

is not a precondition of usefulness to God.

And I am humbled to see that out of the twistedness of my wounds,

he designs for me a special place of service.

-Theirs is the Kingdom by Robert Lupton-

vanity.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

- Emily Dickinson-

My high school English class would probably cringe at the sight of that name and face. None of us were fans of this hermit-gone-poet (or perhaps, poet-gone-hermit?). Please see Matt Dorado for further discussion - he is very passionate about this topic.

Despite all that, this little poem of hers captivated me. She seems to express so uniquely, the very thing I've come to grasp in the past few years: if we live for something other and greater than ourselves, our life is not lived in vain.

There is a story being woven across all of human history.

It's the story of the entire universe. It's made up of millions of little stories. It's bigger than we can fathom, and its Author is more grand and magnificent than anything of which we ourselves can even attempt to conceive.

And because of that, our own story is insignificant. Minute. Miniscule. Negligible. Replaceable. Disposable.

We won't even come close to mattering until we put our story in that story.

We become significant only in becoming a part of something else.

But by that time, we ourselves are no longer significant. By that time, it's not even about "mattering." By that time, it's not about us, for we have been lost in Something (or Someone) else.

As John Piper put it, "We weren't created to be somebody, we were created to know Somebody."

When we live for Something greater than ourselves, we end up trading our very small "something" for a very large (and I'll even venture to say, infinite) "Something." In the end, everything we were and everything we were about pales in comparison to that of which we are now a part, to the One we now know.

And that's why it's not vanity:

Because it's no longer about us.